I'm the girl in dark blue jeans.
I'm the girl you can't see.
I'm the girl you wish you could meet.
If I knew you any better,
we'd be lost forever
in each others arms.
If you never ever lied
you saw it in my eyes,
the tears that I cried,
Every single night
for the rest of my life.
I tried to push you aside.
I even tried to hide,
my feelings inside.
If I knew you better
we'd be lost forever
in each others arms.
If you never ever lied
you saw it in my eyes.
The tears that I cried.
Every single night
for the rest of my life.
Only if you knew it....
too.
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139,414 Literary Works • 672,558 Reviews
I disagree with Incandesance. I think this is a poem. These are not lyrics. It doesn't even read like lyrics, let alone follow the format of lyrics. I love this poem. Good rythmn
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I agree with deafwriter_19. The "I'm the girl in dark blue jeans" is so simple but original. Maybe you want to capitalize the first letter after each line break so it looks more even, but your style is free verse, I'm guessing, so if you don't it's fine.
I like the repetition you used, too. Great job; it's phenomenal.
"I'm the girl in dark blue jeans."
LOVED that line!
This was a beautiful poem. Saw no typos and i think its fine where it is.
I'm not sure about placement or whatthe requirements are for whatever forum. whatever, but I thought that the poem was okay. You basically have four stanzas and your writing is rather superficial. Keep working on it though. The format that you had was interesting and had a lot of potential.
whoops! Sorry. My bad
Insomniac,
This is not a poem. What you have posted here are best described as 'lyrics', and, for future reference, should be posted there.
As far as the quality of this--poor; though that's to be expected with things set to tune.
All the best,
Brad